The Statistical Probability of You and Him

You and Him

I dreamed of something interesting today.  I dreamed of him. Him. It’s been a long time not seeing him in my dreams. My first crush, my first dance my first love, yuck.. Hahahah, too much. Forget it! Let’s just get to the topic, shall we?


Can you remember having this huge crush on someone? Someone you can barely talk and stay with? That childhood crush, celebrity crush, social media crush, that blogger crush or that crushes you’d never ever admit to anyone. Can you remember?

Can you remember giggling, drooling and showing off to someone? Can you remember trying to get a glimpse of him or her whenever they’re around? How about their voices? Can you remember?

Can you remember the days when being around him or her was like forever? Remember those times when your lungs forget to breathe and your heart goes way too fast? Yup, those times, can you remember?

Me? Oh! I remember mine. Crystal clear and I still think he’s the hottest goddamn man I’d ever laid my eyes on. Nope. No details for you here mister. *wink.

Can you? Right, so let’s continue with this infatuation-shit.

Let’s begin with an extremely terrible fact that boys and girls are just awfully bad at picking up signs of love and attraction sometimes. You were like “Hi Crush, I exist” and still, nothing works for you there. Nowadays, there are plenty of people who spend a great deal of time wondering how to make “that” someone loved them back. Poor hoooomans! Hheh~

Still. Whatever happens, make sure to love yourself first. Make your life play with beautiful colors. Make it fly with all the glitters and butterflies around. People tend to be attracted to someone who knows themselves better, people who displays love to their life no matter how pretty or shitty it was were always…always the prettiest. 

Men and women are way too different creatures but they’re just people. Maybe in different types or gender but you guys are still the same in one point, yeah? Find it out for yourself and you might have your dream come true in no time. Good luck!


The Perks of trying not to Fall in Love.

No to fall

It’s been quite a long time of saying no and I’m losing all the reasons and excuses defending myself in never wanting to fall for someone again. Not anytime soon, I’d say. Maybe at the very young age, loving was easy but as we grow up, committing will feel irrational. When you get hurt, It’ll make your heart and mind waver. Learning will come but doubt will follow.

I must admit, there was this time of my life when I was head over heels for the wrong one. The shallow motivator of my young self. I remember asking myself some random why’s and why’s then things broke down and everything shattered leaving me shock and defenseless of that hurt. Right then, there was this click-click-then-snap!!!

That very young love had allowed me to figure out the beauty and ugliness of relationship and love. Early stages of romantic relationship can be exhilarating but things like that can be easily nullified as well.  In love, there’s no such thing as forever and always. Maybe you got yourself a great boyfriend or a loving husband, maybe a kickass friend or an amazing family but let’s face it: things were not always that perfect and such forever sometimes, only lasted for like a day or an hour or more.

We’re all living in a world that’s been jammed with pride, selfishness and greed; brimming with different sick and poor intentions to others. At some point, we’ve been hurt, criticized, broken and betrayed by someone we’ve trusted and loved.

Untrusting and sometimes being difficult had become me for so long that I can no longer remember when it even started. Maybe because that innocent and naive trust I had got trashed and used up merciless that’s why.

Being in love was not a voluntary process. It may come at the very wrong place or time and yeah, plainly with some sort of a wrong person or so. Women at my age fall as easy as tripping over someone. You often here them say: “He likes me, and I’m so kilig and I think, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, forever.”


So whoever you are that is reading this, please be smart enough when it comes to your heart and life.  Feelings can be temporary and that happiness can fleet as fast as the blink of an eye.

Being envious of some person with great love and life was fine. They’re lovely anyway. What’s wrong is when you decided to commit over that jealousy you have. Try not to love just because of that longing or loneliness inside. You’ll end up drowning yourself in some depths of darkness and it’ll be hard for you to spark up. That’s what I’ve been telling myself for some time now. It works. There are billions of people in this planet and there’s no way not to find that someone who can love you back.

Remember, no matter where you are in this journey, you are always loved. Maybe by someone you know or someone you do not.  It was no longer a man’s world so stood up. Go build yourself and wait till that someone knocks up. It can be someone close or not but who knows right? Someday.

Ruined Fairy tale


Sweet words. Love. Lust. Trusts. Admirations. So much for living in a fairytale. Yeah?

Throughout life, you will meet that one person who is unlike any other. Someone who’s gonna drag you inside that fairytale. Someone who is.. capable of creating that wonderland. And yes, there’s that someone. Somehow, you just got to devour it. Enjoy it. Live with it. Just try not to get fooled by whatever that unconditional commitment he was offering.

Beware. Xx

Dear Sleep

Dear sleep

Hi Sleep! It’s been a long time wasn’t it? I know this may sound crazy but, I missed you terribly my love. I’m so sorry for breaking up with you first, but now I want you back. 

You have no idea how hard it has become since the day you left. I’m in a whole fucking mess! I know I used to brag about Nap when we were together. He’s been a good help then and now but the thing is, he’s not you. No one can replace you Sleep, you know it.

I really hope to start dreaming each night in your lovely arms again.
Can you come back? I’ll be good this time, I promise. Xx

Dear Boys


I wonder how you feel when you’re in love. Do you also wish she didn’t know so many boys to hangout with?
Do you guys wish she wasn’t so darn attractive sometimes? How about butterflies? Do you also experience such things?

And what about those little conversation you had? Does the smallest things you told her bothers you? Do you also wish she hasn’t been with other guys before you?

I wonder how you usually act when you’re in love. Do you also wait for her to come online for hours? Do you smile at her from a distance? How about getting jealous? Do you also feel like wrecking somebody’s face for no reason?

I really wonder how you usually are when you’re in love.

I really wonder… I wonder how. Xx

To Love and to be Loved

neil neil

Tell her why she’s perfect for you.

Pick her up and tickle her till she can barely breathe,

She’ll scream and fight you, but secretly she’ll love it.

Protect her.

Hold her hand when you talk to her.

Look at her like she’s the only girl you ever want to be with.

When she least expect it, pull her in close and kiss her hard.

Tell her she looks beautiful.

Get her mad, and then kiss her.

Let her fall asleep in your arms.

Call her.

Give her piggy-back-rides.

Kiss her forehead.

Make her feel loved.

(c) unknown.