Voiceless Whispers


Stop. Listen. Listen and listen. Your thoughts, can you hear them? Soft or loud; in a voice of a murmur, a laughter or a whimper, can you hear it?

That inner self, it’s you. There will be times of disappointment and defeat but those were inevitable so don’t be so hard on yourself. Even when your thoughts have failed you or had been failing you countless of times now, don’t stop listening. Don’t lose it.

Mistakes happens so please, whatever that thing is, get over it. Those thoughts, that inner self, it’s your greatest ally or enemy depending on how you are planning to listen. So whenever you are in trouble, whenever you are in doubt…




Listen and listen.



Let_it_go (2)

Honestly speaking: I won’t be really sorry to see 2014 go away. Yeah, not my greatest year bud. I failed this year.  I failed it.

Now that we’re already days away from the coming year, I bet lots of people are getting all jumpy and itchy in setting up new goals and plans for this New Year to come. Not me. People might just be excited in getting a nice dress or shirt. Busy in planning of something nice to cook, some maybe happily getting in touch with their love ones but yeah, not me.

This year had been awfully bad. First: I got into crazy fights with some very good friends of mine.  Friends from work, childhood friend and a friend I just met several months ago. Funny huh? I’m not much of a trouble maker myself so I’m not sure what went wrong either.

I’m not proud of it. Yes, maybe because my pride was the very last thing I’m gonna put down for someone. I’m usually fun and silly but I can be very scary and bitchy if I feel like things are getting all up against me.

And yes, It’s-been-a-nobody-gives-a-fuck-whether-I-get-the-job-done-or-not-year for me, for them or maybe to anybody. This year might not be the very best but yeah, I guess 2014 still deserves a proper bow. So there you have it 2014, I’m kissing you goodbye and I’m about the hug this 2015 my warm hello. You’d been a long one. Still, thanks my friend. Cheers!

Getting Drunk


Do you think there any benefits in drinking alcohol at all? Well for me, there is, certainly. 

For starters, let’s give it in meeting great people. Drinking will always loosen you up. It could make you feel relax, you’ll find it easy to communicate even with the people you are not so comfortable with. 

Drinking was mostly described as a waste of time, but people who often say that was the ones who are not doing it right. There’s nothing wrong in drinking; when you’re celebrating or reuniting with old friends, when you’re hanging out with your workmates or when resting during holidays or even when you’re just bored and you feel like being wasted. Nothing’s wrong with it and I wouldn’t call it as a waste of time either.

Yes, maybe you’ll gonna do something you’ll regret after. Worst case “maybe” is for you to wake up in a police station waiting for someone to bail you out. But that wasn’t always the horror of it.  Last thing you might want to happen is to get sick and suffer from the mother of all hangover the next day so your job, really, is to learn how to control it.

Okay, so in alcohol’s defense, I’ve also done so many dumb shits while completely normal so yeah, I don’t usually go with the blame it on the alcohol thing. Not bad, eh?

Plus, drinking can also be an escape, a great way to self medication. Nope, it wouldn’t help you solve any problems but it can definitely give you a great black out for the whole night or day to what time you would prefer. Go drink, passed out on the couch, have a great deep sleep then face the problem afterwards. It’s not that much but it’s a great lubricant in dealing with the rough times.

So, anyway… the thing about this entry is, I do really need a drink right now. Don’t ask. Just do.  Cheers!

My Job-Bullshit-Detector



I hate my job and I’m so full of it. I so fucking hate it. Yes, I hate it that much and it makes me want to throw up.

Did you know that a poorly managed team can make a person miserable? Believe me, it can. I started hating this job for months now and it was bad! Horrible I must say. I find no more joy of working and I sincerely hate my job right now.

I thought this would be a good place to start but fuck nah! Every day I would force myself to get up and spend those nine precious hours of my life dealing with so much shit from my boss. Nine fucking hours! Can you imagine? Heck, I can’t even call this a work in the first place.

I know that there will be times when any job was a good job but not always. There are parts of jobs that will make us feel terrible and this is certainly one of them. This job was utterly depressing to the extent of me, considering of quitting without even having a different job to go to.

I’m usually polite and good but not today. Let’s make today as an exception, okay?


Getting Lost in the Labyrinth


Hi! Looks like I’m back with the writings of my blah-blah stuff again. I really hate to say this but these past few days were the craziest. There’s those stress all over the week and it’s making me bitchy.

It sucks actually, I don’t know why but for some reason I wanted to punch myself for letting my life fly in an autopilot. All those years were not about me, it’s always for them; making them the proudest parents on earth. It sucks. Being the good daughter from then till now, I hate it. All my decisions were all up to them, no to this and no to that; do this but not that. Heck, now I can’t even decide things on my own. I’m not sure if you’re getting the feel but somehow, I’m not getting the satisfaction each time I’m making a move without having them to aprove, it felt wrong. *sigh

Doomed. I know. Xx

Freedom is when you stop giving a Fuck.


We all know that life was never easy to begin with. I know it sucks sometimes. There’s always that one tone each day that keeps on hitting the wrong note, regardless of how many times you practice, there’s always gotta be an error along the lines. 

Still, don’t make everything so hard for yourself. You didn’t have to push everything to be perfect just because you have to or just because someone required you to. Believe it or not; YOU DIDN’T REALLY NEED TO GIVE A FUCK ON THOSE.

Ignore it when you hear people badmouthing over you. You didn’t have to please them. It’s not like your world will eventually stop without them. It wouldn’t make you stop from breathing if you didn’t get into their likeness in the first place. Whether they like you or not, it wouldn’t change a thing.

Enough with those impatient thoughts. Giving yourself an unstable mind was never a healthy way to live your life. Give yourself a rest. You didn’t have to push it so bad. There’s no need for you to be always right, to be always aligned. To be always perfect.

Give up on your past. No matter how blissful or how dark it is, let it go. Look behind but never stay behind. Those beautiful memories are meant to inspire you and those painful ones are meant to make you stronger. Stop barricading yourself just for the sake of being safe.

Just stop. Stop giving a fuck. People shouldn’t give a damn on how much you drink, how much you put on your make up, how much you dress yourself whether its ugly or not. They shouldn’t give a damn on how you are living your life because it’s yours and they shouldn’t fucking matter!

Do things that are making you happy. No matter how stupid it is, do it.

No more rules.


Love your Demons

love your demons

Have you tried facing your demons until this very moment?

So for starters, I AM SOOOOO not talking about some creepy stuff like what you usually saw on exorcism movies or whatsoever. I’m talking about your Demons. I’m talking about you. Yes, you!

I know that some of us had been trying their best to be good at everything as possible. Trying to be great, trying to be better but you see at some point you just got to free yourself from hiding.

If you haven’t seen my point, then listen very well. Becoming a better person doesn’t mean you must hideaway the bad in you. You didn’t have to bury your flaws, your ugly side, everything that comes worst in you. Sometimes you just got to free that little trouble maker inside.

Your Demons are your inner self and you just got to expose them for you to release the burden. So what if people may look down on you? Ignore them.

Someday, somehow.. facing our demons is something we all have to do. Go on dance with your bad self. Play with it.

As simple as that. Xx