Accidentally on Purpose

Aop

Can accidents happen on purpose? I’m not sure if that intro would actually fit on today’s entry but let’s give it a try, shall we?

So uhmm, let’s start with… how the hell did I even start blogging?

That was just simply because we were required to. During our college days, my closest friends and I was lucky enough to get into a descent company for our training.  We all adore our boss, our mentors and even our co-trainee. They were like the coolest guys I’ve known so far in my whole life. They’re all Open-source advocate.

Anyway, they seem to notice our lack of confidence so they require us to start a blog and at least write something about the training, the learning and a little bit of everything.

It’s crazy! I mean, we don’t even know how to write with nothing. No idea and nothing interesting to write about. Funny how we started posting an entry by continuously exchanging looks like we were mentally telling each other that we are soooo fucked. Lmao.

What I realized is, I maybe forced to start writing but I was not, however, forced to love it this big. It feels like I accidentally loved something on purpose honestly.

So let me ask you that question again. Can accidents happen on purpose? Well, it doesn’t always have to be your friends or your blog or anything similar. It can be something about love, something with your passion, with your dreams or…anything. It can be anything.

I’m not that famous type of blogger. I don’t do lifestyle blogging. No Photography blogging. Not a fashion blogger too. I don’t do book reviews as well, maybe a little but not that much. I used to write anything the goes through my mind but nothing spectacular.

Blogging is like me speaking. This has become my simple way of expressing me, the real me…  This way I can talk to someone who doesn’t even know I exist; it’s like letting strangers read whats on my mind and it’s a kinda cool don’t you think?

This has been my personal journal for like two years now and so far, I’m happy that I’m still writing.

Blogging is where I live, I breathe, I love, I express, argue and criticize. I love it here. This is where I purposely belonged, said by others. This is where I was accidentally found and I love it, here, in my wonderland.

Xx

Getting Lost in the Labyrinth

Neil

Hi! Looks like I’m back with the writings of my blah-blah stuff again. I really hate to say this but these past few days were the craziest. There’s those stress all over the week and it’s making me bitchy.

It sucks actually, I don’t know why but for some reason I wanted to punch myself for letting my life fly in an autopilot. All those years were not about me, it’s always for them; making them the proudest parents on earth. It sucks. Being the good daughter from then till now, I hate it. All my decisions were all up to them, no to this and no to that; do this but not that. Heck, now I can’t even decide things on my own. I’m not sure if you’re getting the feel but somehow, I’m not getting the satisfaction each time I’m making a move without having them to aprove, it felt wrong. *sigh

Doomed. I know. Xx

Freedom is when you stop giving a Fuck.

Freedom

We all know that life was never easy to begin with. I know it sucks sometimes. There’s always that one tone each day that keeps on hitting the wrong note, regardless of how many times you practice, there’s always gotta be an error along the lines. 

Still, don’t make everything so hard for yourself. You didn’t have to push everything to be perfect just because you have to or just because someone required you to. Believe it or not; YOU DIDN’T REALLY NEED TO GIVE A FUCK ON THOSE.

Ignore it when you hear people badmouthing over you. You didn’t have to please them. It’s not like your world will eventually stop without them. It wouldn’t make you stop from breathing if you didn’t get into their likeness in the first place. Whether they like you or not, it wouldn’t change a thing.

Enough with those impatient thoughts. Giving yourself an unstable mind was never a healthy way to live your life. Give yourself a rest. You didn’t have to push it so bad. There’s no need for you to be always right, to be always aligned. To be always perfect.

Give up on your past. No matter how blissful or how dark it is, let it go. Look behind but never stay behind. Those beautiful memories are meant to inspire you and those painful ones are meant to make you stronger. Stop barricading yourself just for the sake of being safe.

Just stop. Stop giving a fuck. People shouldn’t give a damn on how much you drink, how much you put on your make up, how much you dress yourself whether its ugly or not. They shouldn’t give a damn on how you are living your life because it’s yours and they shouldn’t fucking matter!

Do things that are making you happy. No matter how stupid it is, do it.

No more rules.

Xx

Ruined Fairy tale

Ruined

Sweet words. Love. Lust. Trusts. Admirations. So much for living in a fairytale. Yeah?

Throughout life, you will meet that one person who is unlike any other. Someone who’s gonna drag you inside that fairytale. Someone who is.. capable of creating that wonderland. And yes, there’s that someone. Somehow, you just got to devour it. Enjoy it. Live with it. Just try not to get fooled by whatever that unconditional commitment he was offering.

Beware. Xx

Dear 2013

2013

So.. uhmmmm Hi 2013!

I’m not really sure why I’m writing to you as if you were some kind of a person or what. I guess this was pure boredamn so just bear with me ‘kay?

First, I want you to know that you’ve been a one-of-a-hell-year to me. A year full of happiness, troubles, sleepless days and nights. A year to be thankful, daring, brave, and inspired. You’d been a year of many-many more to me.

I wasn’t expecting you to end so quickly but clearly, you’ve become a wonderful and an accomplished year! And YES, I’ve decided not to think of any resolutions for this coming year.

No more listing of some stupid old habits to kill. For 2014, I’ll be different. I guess I just wanted to experience him not so careful but a little more careless compared to you 2013.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not about comparing you to him for which one should I get better or whatever.. This was just me trying to say goodbye for the old-good-boring-habits I used to have when we were still together.

I swear, I’m gonna be better with 2014, ‘ayt? I’ll be going out sometimes. I promise not to spend the weekends reading and sleeping if you like. I promise to…. wait.. WHAT?! Didn’t I just swore I won’t be making any resolutions this year? Geez! Fine, let’s end it here.

So yeah.. I’ll be waving my goodbye to you now. Thank you and I love you so much. Xx

Dear Self

Self

It’s kinda messed up isn’t it? How your life would suddenly turn upside down without even knowing it. How something would remind you the very same bullshits you wish you could easily forgot. How can someone freely enters your life then eventually walks out. Those people who left you there, hanging like you never meant a shit to them.

Forgotten. That’s who you are. 

Reality

reality

Reality is when you start to believe that skinny girls are not always the prettiest. Those flawless legs; long-straight or bouncy hair, nicely done make up, unimaginable white skin,.. blah-blah-blah. Yes, they might be pretty but so are you.

Stop giving a damn on what other people say. No matter what you look like, no matter what kind of person you are, no matter how many times they screwed you up, NEVER-EVER-LET-THEIR-BULLSHIT-AFFECT-YOU.

So what if you don’t belong? The moment they tell you ‘you aren’t good enough is the moment they tell you how good you really are – trust me.

So what if you’re fat? So what if they call you ugly? A pretty girl calling someone ugly doesn’t make them pretty either so duh. Girls can be real bitches and guys can be dickheads and this is how fucked up our reality is. 

Just believe in yourself. Remember that you are so FUCKING GORGEOUS and you will always be; YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, NEVER EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

Xx